Family Burke

Oops

2011-07-13T14:03:00.003-04:00

April to July? Seriously?

As Eli would say, "Whoops! Soddy!" (translation: "whoops! sorry! I spilled something... again!")

I knew this two-kid thing wouldn't be any kind of breeze, but I really underestimated the exhaustion. Things are only just starting to get easier, and I think the last few months have been a nail in my done-having-kids coffin.

In a quick wrap, in answer to Colic Round Two, I dove head-first into a dairy elimination diet when everything else I'd tried failed. About 10 days in, he started to change demeanor. Then I made a little mistake with some pumped milk from the freezer from before the diet and BAM, set back another 10 days. After that, things improved drastically and at a little past four months, I was able to ease back on the diet without adding extra screaming. The diet was brutal, but it was worth having more moments of peace. He's doing much better now and although he still refuses to be put down most of the time, he can sit and is already scooting himself around.

About a month ago Eli started some occupational therapy for a sensory processing dysfunction. It's been interesting to watch how the different methods of therapy make a difference in the way he responds to his environment. We are trying to learn the best way to give him what he needs without losing our minds. He is wild, but he is so sweet and I just know he's going to break through his issues one of these days. Now I just have to hope Lincoln doesn't follow in his monkey brother's crazy footsteps...

I added Lincoln's last four month shots to the slideshow at the top left. Four at once! Whoops! Soddy!

two months and two years

2011-04-05T18:18:00.003-04:00

My little guys hit a couple milestones recently.

Lincoln is 2 months old!

Eli is 2 years old!

In other news, we just returned from a crazy trip to Georgia. I say "crazy" because I think I was insane to attempt a 12-hour drive alone with these two very loud little boys. We had a good time though and we sure loved the sun!

back again like a bitter friend

2011-03-23T12:00:00.001-04:00

Why haven't I posted even a one-month picture? Well, because I never have two hands free--and rarely even one.

To bring my nightmare to life, Lincoln is following his brother's footsteps and I'm experiencing Colic Round Two.

I feared this, but I really thought the odds were in my favor and surely this wouldn't happen to me again. How wrong I was! He started a little sooner than Eli did, and at first it was more mild. However, it has gotten progressively worse day by day, week by week, and here we are at 7 weeks and he is downright miserable--and so am I.

I'm struggling a lot with this. I'm sleep-deprived. Eli is tantrum city. Josh is working horrible hours. And I just can't believe this has been handed to me again. I'm tired and discouraged. I feel angry and hurt. And then of course comes the guilt--he is a healthy boy and this WILL pass. I know that. There are people who have lost their babies who would shake their head at my being depressed over a screaming baby. But everything is relative, and screaming is relatively awful.

Did you know the sound of screaming babies is piped into the cells of terrorists to torture them during interrogations? What else do they use? Oh! Sleep deprivation! Sounds kind of like my life...

finally...

2011-02-18T09:38:00.003-05:00

Final eviction notice received February 3, 2011: Lincoln Beckett Burke, weighing in at a hefty 9lb6oz, 22 inches long, with one giant head!

After weeks of hoping for some progress and having none, I finally gave in to a c-section at 41 weeks. It turned out to be the best thing--some time in the days before, the little stinker had flipped around and was feet down! So if I had ended up having any progress, I still would have ended up disappointed about being wheeled into the OR anyway. So having it scheduled ended up being a whole lot easier than the alternative.

I've been so thankful to have some great help from my mother and sister for the first week. Josh has been home all this week. And in spite of having met most of them only once, we have been lovingly provided with meals from the local MOPS group and our new church. I'm loving this town!

...and counting

2011-01-27T09:00:00.000-05:00

40 weeks and still waiting!

the waiting game

2011-01-19T20:54:00.002-05:00

39 weeks and I'm totally surprised! I really didn't expect to make it all the way! My 39-week appointment is tomorrow and I'm pretty anxious to find out if I've had any progress since last week. I'm feeling pretty ready, so... let's go little guy!

I'm also ready for spring... but these snowboys are pretty cute.

settling in... and out

2010-12-31T09:44:00.002-05:00

What a month it's been! We finally got ourselves moved out... and in. We've settled ourselves into our new home in NE Ohio and are adjusting to a little more snow and a lot more space. It's been a great change so far to have so much more space for the kids' things and not having our living space entirely overtaken by toys.

We've hit a few churches so far but nothing has felt right yet. I was hoping we might love the first one we visited so we could get connected right away, but that hasn't happened. Hopefully we'll find something soon. I'm planning to go to the MOPS group this coming Tuesday and hoping to make a few connections before I'm out for awhile with baby duties.

Speaking of baby, at my appointment this week, my doctor said he's pretty sure he's gone head-down! My response? "Nuh-UH!" I can't even believe it. He said he'll do an ultrasound in two weeks so we'll find out for sure whether we'll try for a vbac or not pretty soon. I'm getting huge, uncomfortable, and incapable. But we're almost there!

Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

32 weeks

2010-12-04T20:35:00.002-05:00

How has this pregnancy flown all the way to 32w (and a few days) already? It seems like I was dying to get this far last time while it slowed to a crawl the closer and closer it came. And then, of course, I had Eli at 34 weeks so I don't even know what pregnancy is like past such a time.

This time things are going so much better. At my last OB appointment, my blood pressure was a fabulous 117/80 and I noted to the doctor that at that same appointment last time, I waddled in with giant purple feet and so began my two weeks of daily NSTs and ultimately failed BPPs and the emergent emergence of my little guy.

This baby is sideways, just like Eli was, so I am headed for a repeat section. I can feel his head poking out my side now in exactly the same spot Eli did. A week ago I couldn't tell his position and now it is perfectly clear when I run my hand up and down my side!

In other news, we are moving in one week! Finally, we are embarking on this great adventure of a whole new beginning--new home, new town, new church, new friends, and new baby. I'm a little nervous but mostly excited. It's been a long time coming and we are definitely ready. My prayer now is that we can get moved, unpacked, and adjusted by Christmas so that when January hits we are prepared for anything with this baby.

I suppose "prepared" would mean picking a name. Perhaps we'll get to that...

and so it goes

2010-11-14T12:20:00.005-05:00

Where did fall go?

The leaves fell, Halloween came and went, and suddenly it was winter.

And now it's spring. I'd really like a little fall before the dead of winter begins!

Here's my ferocious shark-boy on Halloween.

Stick around awhile, Fall!

Still on the Great House Search. Eli is so big! Baby is kicking the heck out of my insides, but so far all is well. I'm so thankful for a much easier pregnancy this time around. Now to keep him in there at least until January--that is the next goal.

Is there a doctor in the house?

2010-10-07T19:57:00.004-04:00

Last weekend our family saw both stitches and sickies.

After Noah's soccer game on Saturday we took the boys to the park, where Josh somehow managed to bash Eli's head into some playground equipment and make a gaping, bleeding hole. Since Noah lives in Podunkville, we had to drive a half hour back to our beloved city to get to Children's Urgent Care, where Eli got three awesome little stitches in his previously perfect little head. He didn't like being held down, but he did much better than I thought. I, on the other hand, cowered in the corner with tears in my eyes, just in my baby's line of vision, while Josh held him down on the table. I'm pretty sure I was more scarred than he will be.

Little did we know he had been sick the night before (the mess somehow was missed by his visiting grandfather, who got him out of bed in the morning) and was slowly but surely infecting the entire family. First Josh had his turn, then mine, and also not spared were Noah and his mother, Josh's dad (who was visiting), and probably most of the toddler class at church and the Urgent Care staff. Thanks, little dude. We all survived and I'm hoping this gets us off the hook for the rest of the sickies season (and this pregnancy!).

Fall is Fabulous

2010-10-01T14:18:00.002-04:00

I'm pretty darn excited that it's October. Aside from the pollen count, this is probably my favorite month of the year. Things are changing, it's cooling off, the windows are opening, different clothes are being pulled out of the closet. It's fun to be outside. The holidays are approaching. Yes!

Today I'm sitting on the couch with my laptop while Eli naps and I have all the windows open. The breeze coming in is gloriously crisp and even gives me a slight chill--I love it! Outside my window I can see a tree with a few yellowing leaves among the green ones. The sun is shining.

And it's time to start planning fall activities. Hay rides, apple picking, pumpkin patches, corn mazes, carving pumpkins, Halloween, playing in leaves... and lots of pictures!

ruff ruff

2010-09-29T12:14:00.004-04:00

I just told Eli he was eating a hot dog and he started barking.

At his 18-month appointment last week, his doctor was concerned about his speech. He called in some referrals so we'll be having a hearing and speech eval coming up soon. Well, I'm pretty sure my little barking boy can hear me. Who needs English?

On another note, I think it might actually be Fall now! Yes!!

monkey child

2010-09-22T15:01:00.002-04:00

It's no secret Eli is part monkey. He's been scaling furniture since he could walk and scaling walls since then. For months he's been flipping the ottoman over and over across the room so he could reach things up high. He's figured out just about every child lock in the house. And now...

Now he's climbed out of the crib. Argh! I put him in his bed for a nap and about ten minutes later I heard pounding on his door. I knew it was too loud to be the cat, so I went to check. Sure enough, there he was grinning at me from the bunk bed ladder, lamp on the floor.

Great! I've already been fretting about his non-readiness for the big-boy bed in a few months when BB2 makes his appearance, but now I have to worry about it sooner than expected. I don't think he's ready to be out of the crib and I'm not sure what to do. Fence him in with a baby crib cage? Just let him try the bed? I'm worried about the bunk bed ladder and neck-breaking activities.

Where did my baby go?!

half baked

2010-09-03T17:46:00.002-04:00

I had my 20-week scan this week (although we're a few days short) so Baby 2 is officially just about half baked!

He is still a boy and as of yet remains nameless. Poor kid doesn't even have a nickname!

Everything looked fine on the scan except I have a low-lying placenta. This was not pleasant news to me because I have been hoping and praying and hoping and praying for a VBAC. The odds are already stacked against me as I am high risk for preterm labor what with the issues I have and had previously--bicornuate uterus, preeclampsia, placental abruption, premature birth, and breech presentation. My awesome doctor is willing to do it if all the factors line up just right--but it seems like every time I go in they have another strike against my VBAC dreams. In order to get this baby out the way nature intended, I have to make it to term, go into labor naturally, have no PIH or placenta problems, have a head-down baby, and now I need my placenta to move the heck up and away from the exit. Oh please, oh please! Pray with me, y'all, I really, really want this and I'm starting to get a little discouraged.

But Nameless is doing great and measuring right on target. That is really the most important thing.

I feel bad to follow my complaints with this, but a friend of mine had her baby the same day as my ultrasound and her little boy was born with a couple different defects. He's already had one surgery and has more to come--and I so feel for my friend as she is going through so many emotions I couldn't even begin to understand. Little Mason is already such a fighter--just like his mom. Please keep Mason and his family in your prayers. You can follow his story here: Precious Mason.

And just because it's been awhile, here's Number One:

BB2 is a boy!

2010-08-18T16:49:00.004-04:00

For some reason, pregnancy has made me blog-lazy. I'm always thinking about things I'd like to write about and then they slip away into the fog of my pregnancy brain, never to be heard from again.

Anyway, we found out on Monday that BB2 is quite clearly another boy! I will admit to having slight jealousy when I see little girls with bows and pretty dresses, but beyond that, I'm pretty excited to have two little boys so close in age who will hopefully be built-in best friends. And other than accommodating different seasons in clothes, hopefully we won't have to buy too much.

So... Double Stroller, here I come!

Still up in the air on names. Any suggestions? Aim, fire!

2010-07-26T08:29:00.002-04:00

We're still living with boxes. I'm getting tempted to unpack some things--namely Eli's toys. I only left out just a few and since he's staring at the TV even when it isn't on, I think maybe it's time to get out some different toys. Keep praying for the sale of this house. We really felt like maybe we'd get lucky and get out fast, but so far we've only had one showing and no interest.

Josh has been commuting for a few weeks now. Aside from the drive he seems to be enjoying the new job. We're all happier if he is happy, so this is good news.

Speaking of good news, we're working on a little sibling to arrive, say, 2/2/11. This was clearly an oops, but we're happy. I have an appointment next week (14w) so I'll try to do better at keeping you posted.

finally, an update

2010-07-05T20:57:00.001-04:00

Been awhile. I know. I’ve been meaning to update, but things have been hectic around here.

Good news: Josh got a job! It was a great offer with a relocation bonus—yeah, relocation. We’re moving… eventually.

For now it’s house-selling time. Yuck! Not my favorite activity. We’ve been packing and cleaning and fixing things while we wait for a call for a showing. It’s been a week—nothing yet. We’ve been looking at houses to rent in the new town (about 2 hours north of here) but so far nothing feels right. So we’re waiting and trying to figure out what to do in between. Josh starts his new job on the 12th, so we’re running out of time for figuring and heading for seat-of-our-pants living.

While I’m sad about moving away and leaving friends and starting over and finding a new church, new play groups, new friends, I’m looking forward to starting over fresh, too. There’s something exciting about that and I love that we’ll be living in a smaller town now that I’ve been in the city for the last ten years. I’ve always wanted to raise my family in a place where my kids can walk to school, the library, the park, the Five-and-Ten… okay, I guess it’s a dream world where the Five-and-Ten still exists and children can eat unwrapped penny candy from open bins. But it’s a little more like the way I grew up than life is here in the city, and I’m looking forward to that.

So for now, we’re living among boxes and trying to keep the house clean. We’re praying God will sell this place faster than we can imagine. He has blessed us so much so far, so we won’t be surprised when He comes through again.

husband for hire

2010-06-02T15:18:00.002-04:00

Ok, not really. Although I might hire him out for the right price.

The hubs got the lay-off last week. Welcome to my personal world, Crappy Economy! It didn't seem nearly as bad when it was other people losing their jobs.

Since Josh is a full-time worker and I'm a full-time mom, this throws a kink in our lifestyle. His severance is only four weeks--heavens! It takes longer than four weeks to find a job! But I guess I'm grateful that it's not three, or two, or one.

Having him at home all the time has been nice. It makes our days more interesting and less monotonous. Eli seems a little undone by the change in routine, but hopefully he won't have to deal with it long enough to adjust. We are praying for the right job to surface quickly and hope we can find a way to sell our tiny place. Moving a short distance is an acceptable possibility. Leaving our church and our friends would be sad, but starving to death would be sadder.

If anyone has any networking for manufacturing/operations management positions inside Ohio, I'd love to hear it!

nothing is impossible

2010-06-01T19:42:00.006-04:00

As you know, we were traveling last week. Eli and I flew to Georgia to see my nephew Daniel graduate from high school. Alas, it rained, and we didn't see the actual event, but we got cap-and-gown pictures, so that's good enough for me. Eli wasn't excited about the ceremony anyway.

My nephew, who was a screamy baby (much like my precious one) and a lippy teen, has grown into a fine man of God. He and his friends have a worship band and instead of having the typical bring-me-money graduation party, he and his friends chose to have a worship service for a party. They played and sang and we sang along as we dipped chips in dips and forks in cake.

My sister and her sons are an inspiration to me. With a husband similar to mine, she managed to raise two boys into godly men who are serious about their faith. They are smart, happy, kind, and funny. I know there were times when she felt like her sons would only learn from the example of their father, but praise God for being the example they needed to see. I hope I will have the same faith to trust God to take care of my precious son in spite of the example his father might be for him at home sometimes. I hope he grows up to be as good a kid as his cousins.

seatbelts fastened

2010-05-22T22:12:00.003-04:00

I'm ecstatic to report that our flight was a dozen times better than I ever expected it would be! My little monkey slept the whole flight!

Some friends suggested I take the carseat on the chance that there was an empty seat and they'd let me use it. I hoped and prayed and lo and behold, Eli got his own comfy window seat! He was wide-eyed during take-off, looked out the window for a couple minutes, and then quietly nodded off. He slept until just before we landed. The flight attendants were amazingly helpful and even brought Eli his pair of wings!

Now on to hoping and praying the flight home is as easy as the first was.

restless, thus rest-less

2010-05-19T04:07:00.002-04:00

I take Benadryl to sleep. Every night.

Eli and I are flying alone this morning, and last night with hope in my heart, I set my alarm for 4am and put my head on my pillow without swallowing my little pink friends. Hope shmope! No sleep. I tossed and I turned. I listened to Josh snore. The cars out my window. The crickets. And by 3:20am, the birds. At 3:22am I finally got up and gave in to my sleepless body.

Ironically, I tested out a dosage of baby Benadryl on Eli to see if it might help me out with his wild side on the flight. Nope. Didn't do a thing.

So, we're off. Airport, here we come. Fellow passengers, here we come. Feel free to petition the airline to give Eli a free seat to spare all of us the screaming grief.

a sunshiny day

2010-05-15T23:12:00.004-04:00

Someone thinks I'm sunny! Thank you Sarah at The Breathing Post!

Here are the rules, but honestly, 10 seems like a million. I'd rather be picky and choosy. Ciao, rule number 2!

1. Put the logo on your blog or within your post.
2. Pass the award onto 10 bloggers.
3. Let the nominees know they have received the award by commenting on their blog.
4. Share the love and link the person who gave you the award

Pam at Country Mouse City Mouse

and

Michelle at Keeping Up with the Collins Family

In other sunshiny news, Josh and Eli and I spent the afternoon at the Arts Festival today. We walked and talked and definitely did not eat some junky fair food. Okay, we did. But we were careful. We admired some art and laughed at others. Then we took a tour of the "Old County Jail." Pretty neat, other than the anatomically correct pictures that are still drawn on some of the cell walls...

hah!

2010-05-02T15:42:00.004-04:00

My little guy has had his own schedule since the day he was born. He decided he was ready to meet the world 6 weeks early. And in spite of his preemie status, he sat up early. Crawled early. Walked early. But he has always been a little behind with fine motor skills. A little slow to learn to use his hands, he took his time learning to bat at things, play with toys, eat with his fingers, and so on.

At 13 months, he's finally doing two things we've been begging him to do for months upon months: wave and clap!

Now he waves at everyone and says "Hah!" (this is his version of "hi")--and quite proudly, might I add. He claps for himself and laughs--Josh said he was pretty proud of himself this morning for being so good during a diaper change... now that would be something I could get used to.

wave in motion

Now if he would only use the sign language I've been pounding into his head since he was 2 months old...

who, me?

2010-04-22T11:54:00.006-04:00

I've been blogging fairly regularly for 10 years and here's my first blog award. More like "thanks for being nice" but I'll take it. Thanks, Patty. And the rules follow:

1. Copy and paste the award on your blog.

2. List who gave you the award and use a link to her blog.

3. List 10 things that make you happy.

4. Pass the award on to other bloggers and visit their blog to let them know.

Ten Things That Make Me Happy

1. Knowing every day that Jesus is my best friend. I can't screw that up! He just won't leave, no matter what I do.

2. Watching Eli learn new things every day.

3. An evening to myself to just hang out and recoup.

4. Taking (and looking at) pictures--mine or anyone else's.

5. A good night's sleep. I don't get many of these.

6. This is going to sound cheeseball, but my online friends. You might not understand, but I have some really close relationships with women I have never even met.

7. Finding a great deal at the thrift store on something I would never pay full price for.

8. Shopping for baby and kid things. I don't buy much, but I love looking and searching for deals.

9. A sunny, quiet, fightless weekend at home with Josh and Eli.

10. Visiting family.

I'm passing this on to...

Bobbi at Casa Camacho for all her crafty ideas

Mama at Just Another Motherhood Blog for her colic survival skills

Kim at Cotterized for enduring endless restructurings without falling off the map

Shannon at Faith Hope & Love for wooing my language-lovin' heart with her alphabet posts. Gosh, I love letters.

North Columbus Playgrounds

2010-04-12T08:42:00.004-04:00

Since the inception of my mom job, starting with stepmothering a couple years ago, I've found myself wishing I could find a list of good playgrounds in the area so we'd always have somewhere new to visit. I'm always on a quest to find the perfect playground. But as far as I've found, the only way is to really go searching or to ask for recommendations, because searching "playgrounds" in google doesn't come up with anything, and gosh-darn if some great little playgrounds aren't the ones perfectly hidden away in a sweet little corner I'd never find from just driving around.

So I decided to start a map for myself to keep track of playgrounds nearby. If you're a local (We're near Columbus, Ohio. No, I'm not giving you my street address! Don't worry!), then maybe you'll find this useful too, and I would love for you to add more playgrounds. Let's help each other have fun with our kids.

Without further adieu, here it is.

View Parks & Playgrounds in a larger map

another holiday down

2010-04-05T22:56:00.005-04:00

Goodbye, Easter! It was fun while it lasted. Take all the candy with you... I'm on a diet.

We celebrated the resurrection of our Savior with an egg hunt, some candy and cookies, church and Sunday school, and a nice afternoon and lunch with family. Not bad. Thank you for your sacrifice, Lord, so we can live eternally eating chocolate eggs! I think there will be cadbury eggs in Heaven.

For fun, here's a picture of Eli with his Easter basket this year compared to a picture of him in it last year.

Easter morning, April 4, 2010

Easter morning, April 12, 2009

enduring eye rolls for a good cause - a PSA

2010-03-22T14:00:00.005-04:00

Even when Eli was a tiny, unmoving infant, I worried about the television falling on him. I'd tell Josh to play away from the tv. He'd roll his eyes and say "it's NOT going to fall on him."

When he started pulling up on furniture, I begged Josh to please find a way to anchor it. He'd roll his eyes and say "it's NOT going to fall on him."

Finally I went downstairs and found some strong twine in Josh's tool stash. I anchored the tv myself, tying it about ten times on each side to the banister behind it. I felt enormously better; Josh rolled his eyes and said "it's NOT going to fall on him." Not now!, I was thinking.

Recently we moved our TV operation to a new spot and I told Josh he needed to find a new way to anchor it since there was no longer a handy-dandy banister behind it. You guessed it--he rolled his eyes and said "it's NOT going to fall on him." Once again, almost beggingly, I said please do it. Do it for me. It is important to me. He rolled his eyes again, but he said he'd pick up an anchor strap on his way home from work the next day. He anchored it a few nights ago.

Don't you know Eli tipped the TV over last night?!

He tossed something behind the tv and was trying to reach behind to retrieve it and the TV tipped forward right off the stand, nearly smashing him. Josh was sitting in his chair beside the TV and he reached his hand over to "catch" it. The strap worked (Thank you, Lord!) and as I snatched up my monkey-child and hugged him hard, Josh was catching his breath from the scare. I gave him a told-you-so look and he gave me an I-was-wrong look. Thankyouverymuch.

According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, last year there were an estimated 42,700 injuries and 180 deaths from furniture and TV tipover accidents. Please take care to anchor your furniture. And if you have to endure some eye rolls, just know it's all worth it.

one year together

2010-03-18T00:07:00.001-04:00

What a year it's been. We had a rough start, but oh the adventures we've had and what a journey there is to come!

Happy birthday, my Precious One!

a very merry first birthday

2010-03-14T21:02:00.003-04:00

It's over! We survived and the party was a success. I'm honestly so glad it's over. All week I was seeing blue and green when I closed my eyes to go to sleep at night. I made a minimum of two trips to any given store each day of the week prior. The details completely derailed my life for the last week... imagine the house a wreck (even though cleaning it was on my checklist), kids and husband neglected, sleep interrupted, bible study homework undone, and so on.

And get this: I don't think those flags I worked so hard to make even made it into any of my pictures! Holy heck!

Anyway, all is right again. Everything fell into place and we had a good time. One or two more and we'd have literally (rather than figuratively) been sitting on top of each other. But we made it work in our tiny space.

My friend Angie made the smash cake and decorated the big cake and she did such a great job! Eli wasn't quite sure what to make of it at first, but after dropping a couple handfuls over the side of the high chair (and smearing some on the wall--my fault for putting him so close!) he figured out that it tasted pretty good and went to town.

Now we have to eat about one-eighth of a Costco cake, so if you want to come over and help, that's cool...

in 12... and in 7

2010-03-06T06:55:00.007-05:00

In 12 days my Precious One will be one year old. I can't believe it. Sometimes if I think about it too much, I just want to hold him and cry. Where did the time go? He's a toddler now, and life is great in toddler-land, but it means he isn't a baby anymore. I know, I know. He'll always be my baby and all that jazz, but it's both fun and a little weepy to watch him grow up so fast.

And in 7 days we're having his birthday party. Here. At our teeny-tiny lily pad of a house where we'll all be sitting on top of each other and parking in neighbors' parking spots. Oh well. He only turns one once, right?

I've been stressing out a bit about the party details, even though it won't be a big deal of a party. Parties always make me nervous. So many things to worry about, and what if no one comes? What if they come but they aren't entertained? I looked a long time for a theme, but nothing seemed right. So I decided to find some invitation inspiration and go with that, so here's our non-theme... blue and green and orange pennant flags, inspired by this invitation I made (but the general flag idea I jacked from tinyprints.com):

I've been sewing pennant flags to use as decoration and my goodness, am I sick of the project. I love them though. It isn't a really difficult project, just a little tedious and heaven knows I don't have a lot of time I can do it when Eli isn't trying to stick his sweet little almost-one-year-old fingers under my moving needle. I have to finish the rest this weekend... so I hope the hubs doesn't think he gets to nap all day.

I wanted to make him a birthday crown like one I saw on etsy, so I went to it. Well, I'm not good at guessing dimensions, because it's huge. It's adjustable around his head, but it's just sort of giant in general. I wanted to make it big enough that he could wear it for subsequent birthdays (hence the E instead of a 1) but he might be wearing this until he's well into adulthood. Oh well. I'm not starting over, because my fingers were practically bleeding from all the hand stitching, and besides, he won't leave it on anyway. So why double my wasted time?

Action shots in seven days!

all things new

2010-03-04T20:01:00.007-05:00

The other day my husband apologized to me for dragging the past into our marriage.

So I've been thinking about what I drag into it.

The Past always seems to want to have its big old graspy fingers in everything. Is it even possible to check it at the door? I guess it comes down to how much power you let it have over you... or perhaps how much power you think you have by not letting go. The old control-freak argument... I am very familiar with the old control-freak argument. I'm a recovering control freak myself. Okay, so nothing really qualifies me to be in the "recovering" category.

Right after The Past a la Josh was crucified, The Past a la Shannon reared one of its heads (it has a few, and this head wasn't really that ugly... but still, it was reared) with a particular past blast. I wonder if God created irony or if irony had more of a big-bang-theory type of beginning?

Anyway, the hubs reminded me that our little imperfect family unit is new. Not new as in "let's-hold-hands-and-kiss-in-public-because-we're-newlyweds" new. New as in "Behold, I have made all things new" new (aka Revelation 21:5).

The Past can't beat that.

sun please

2010-02-19T08:29:00.006-05:00

Every winter I would always say I wouldn't be living here by the next one. Ugh! Winter in Ohio is crap-city. It's cold lots of places. It snows lots of places. But it is downright dreary here. We don't see the sun for months on end!

We've had three heavy snowstorms in a span of a week and a half, so we're pretty well buried. The first day it's pretty. Oh look! It's snowing! Oh, it's so clean and sparkly. Look how fast it's coming down!

Then in a couple hours it's black and nasty from the roads. It's piled up everywhere and the piles are taller than most children. It's all over your car, it's staining your pantlegs, and it's buried in your carpet.

I'm tired of muck, tired of coats, tired of hats and scarves and gloves. Tired of being stuck in the house all the time. Tired of needing every lamp in the house to not feel like we're trapped in a dungeon. We need some sun.

The other day we were in the car and Noah said he wanted all the snow to melt, but he didn't want to have a flood. I asked why he wanted the snow to melt, and he said he was ready for it to get warm.

So we listed off all the reasons life is much more fun when it's warm:

We can see the grass.

We can get ice cream.

We can go to the park.

We can play ball.

We can wear shorts.

We can wear t-shirts.

We can go for walks.

We can wear sandals.

We can have a picnic (me).

We can eat outside (Noah. Ha!).

No shirts! (That was all Noah.)

We can ride bikes.

We can see the sun.

Flowers will grow.

We can let the dog outside (neither of Noah's households owns a dog, but okay).

It's only February. It's 18 degrees. The 10-day forecast has nothing over 30. We won't be having picnics or letting the proverbial dog outside for awhile yet. But my long-lost friend The Sun came out this morning!

a little valentining

2010-02-15T15:35:00.006-05:00

We had a nice Valentiney Sunday. Josh brought me some beautiful roses, and Eli was cute. His cuteness is one of my favorite gifts.

Noah and I made valentines and some pretty heart cookies to celebrate. We went to church, took naps, ate lunch and dinner and cookies and whoopie pies. And went to bed with stomachaches...

Today I had a cookie for breakfast and after lunch I had some chocolate hearts I got on the V-Day clearance rack at Target. And I'd go for a run, but we're in the process of getting 6-9 more inches of snow.

ubf!

2010-02-12T07:31:00.005-05:00

Eli's first word is official: it's up.

Just this week I decided to start really teaching him to say it to give him an option rather than standing at my feet (or knees when I'm sitting) and screaming bloody murder at me. Since he's never been very interested in mimicking, I was kind of surprised he picked it up. I think it just took him a few times to realize it worked, and that was the key.

I was waiting to hear it a little more, and unprompted, before I decided if it was an accident or truly his first word. But yesterday he said it to me four times--three of them unprompted--and twice today--once to get out of bed and once to get out of the high chair after breakfast.

It sounds like this: ubf!

2010-02-09T20:40:00.007-05:00

Eli had his first unbalanced meal today--Chick-Fil-A. A little chicken, a little waffle fry.

After being trapped in the house all these snowy days, Eli and I cleared off the car and went for a snowy, slippery ride to the mall. We walked a little, played a little, ate a little. Eli had his first ride in a coin-operated fire truck.

Have I mentioned he's walking? I think maybe I failed to post about that a few weeks ago when he took his first steps--now he's walking exclusively. He seems to have sworn off crawling for good.

He's getting to be such a big boy! He's doing so many big-boy things now... eating table food, walking around (practically running now!), and even getting to be a pretty good sleeper. He has a couple toys he really loves, and he carries one book around everywhere and loves when I read it to him. He loves watching Signing Time and smiles big when he hears the music come on.

I can't believe his birthday is coming up so soon. In a way it seems like yesterday that we brought him home.

Sicky Pants

2010-02-03T18:57:00.010-05:00

Eli has bronchitis. Mommy too! We're tired at our house.

We took a trip home to my parents' to visit while my sister was visiting. We had a nice time, butone night Eli went to bed with a cough and woke up wheezing. After holding him all night I took him to Urgent Care in the morning and he had a breathing treatment. He sure didn't like it! Once we got home from our trip, I took him back to the pediatrician and he had another--but this time he slept through it. Poor guy is so tired and worn out! He's sleeping a lot, eating a little, and watching a ton of TV.

I think we're on our way back to normal, but it's been a long week so far.

ten months

2010-01-20T20:00:00.007-05:00

Okay, so I've had some computer issues lately. Here I am!

Well, to double your pleasure, I not only have Eli's 10-month picture, but also his first haircut! I sat him down to take his 10-month picture and when I looked at the photos, I realized just how badly he needed his shaggy hair trimmed up. So we loaded up in the car and got him a nice new haircut! He was amazingly good, and I was pleased with the outcome. He was pleased with the sucker.

Happy 10 months! :)

what's new?

2010-01-15T19:39:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year--a little late.

Since our big travels over the holidays and my obsessive attempts at being a better housekeeper/SAHM, blogging has been low on my list. Probably because it requires thinking.

Operation: Get My Butt in Gear has been pretty good so far. I don't know where along the way I got so lazy... I figure I can blame just about everything on our five months of colic, so I'll go with that for now. But with some help of some other previously lazy ladies, I've been making lists of tasks and sticking to them--and shining my sink every day. Thank you, FlyLady! My greatest effort goes toward always having the house straightened up, the beds made, the toys put away, and the floors cleaned by the time Josh gets home from work. It makes me (a) feel better and (b) look better. Oh, and speaking of look better, getting dressed every day is another goal... who has time for that?! But I'm making it work.

Getting back to regular blogging is on my to-do list. And besides, in three days I'll be back with Eli's 10 month picture! Ten months! So close to twelve. I'm crying inside about my baby becoming a little boy.

Better go clean something.

the eve of the big day

2009-12-25T05:43:00.006-05:00

It's officially Christmas, but the family isn't up yet. Just me and Eli, with an average early waking, and my dad, with a sore back and a too-much-junk-food-last-night bellyache (for the record, I have one, too).

Christmas is different this year. Not just because I'm exchanging my Santa-excitement for Eli's, but also because I'm thinking of Christmas as a mother this year. I'm thinking about Jesus's mom and how she traveled with a big old belly and swollen feet. I wonder if she whined as much as I did at the end. I'm thinking about the feelings she felt as she held her little baby. I teared up a little at the "mother and child" lyric in Silent Night at the Eve service last night. What did she think when she looked down at her little one, knowing all he would face?

I wonder if Jesus was as good a baby as Away in a Manger makes him out to be or if he was more like Eli. I wonder if he slept through the night right away. I wonder if he hit all his milestones on time. Did he walk at 9 months? Did his mother clap proudly for him when he stood up by himself, just like I clap for Eli?

We'll be celebrating that baby soon, and mine, too. And at the risk of losing you by totally switching gears, here's Eli with Santa. We'll teach him the real meaning of Christmas, but the twinkling excitement of Christmas can stay as long as he wants to believe.

a little goodbye

2009-12-07T12:00:00.013-05:00

After a few nauseated evenings about a month ago, I finally bit the bullet and found myself staring at two lines on a pregnancy test... again. I had this feeling all month but I wasn't ready to face it until the symptoms started showing up. I'll admit that I cried a little--Oh heavens, how would I manage two babies 16 months apart when the one I have still has so many extra-special moments. What if I got another colicky baby? Another uncomfortable 8 or so months! Most likely another c-section! And being sick while chasing Eli around... pregnancy would be so different this time around without all the free time I had before for naps and long baths. Now it would mean sleeping in small patches where I could fit it in, no benadryl (too sleepy for night feedings!), no lying on the couch all day, and a new responsibility of carrying Eli around with a big belly in the way and an aching pelvis.

So that was my first couple weeks of fear. Then it started sinking in after I had a visit to the doctor, some nausea meds, and an ultrasound scheduled. I was beginning to adjust to the idea and maybe even get a little excited. Then the first ultrasound rolled around and instead of a white blob and a beautiful heartbeat, there was just black space and silence. I had an empty sac and no baby. Since it was a little early, we took a week to wait and make sure, but there was no progress a week later and bloodwork showed things were not progressing that way, either.

I was sad and shocked. I had been a basketcase with my first pregnancy and couldn't stop worrying. This time I wasn't worried at all, so it was a complete shock to not see what I was expecting to see. It was a difficult week while we waited and tried to find a balance between hope and preparing for the worst. A friend kindly reminded me that all the worry in the world wouldn't change the outcome God had already decided, and somehow that made a huge difference in my outlook and really helped me to accept the final confirmation.

I'm okay. I've had a few weeks now to adjust and although it's a sad thing and I feel like my body has failed me somehow, I'm okay. I feel really peaceful about the outcome, truly believing that the timing can be better the next time and God is protecting our family right now. So, we're okay. Now comes the tricky part--waiting to see if my body will come through and allow things to happen naturally in a timely manner or not. I hate the options of medically ending the pregnancy but it doesn't seem like my body wants to help out. I'm still having no miscarriage symptoms, which I think is common with a blighted ovum--my official miscarriage diagnosis.

I'm pretty sure Eli won't mind having a little bit longer not having to share our attention. And I won't mind having a little bit longer to enjoy my one little darling's hugs and kisses all to myself, either. But I wanted this baby to have at least some place in our family record--so this is the best I can do to say... hello, tiny one, and goodbye.

all night long

2009-11-30T09:39:00.004-05:00

Eli finally decided to give us a little break and slept all night last night!

I know it might have been a fluke and it might not happen again any time soon. But it's still something to celebrate. Of course, I didn't get much sleep as I was up most of the night worrying abut why he was so quiet. Not a peep on the monitor! I usually at least hear something. I've been reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child out of desperation--his sleep has just gotten so, so bad lately and it has been a struggle here. He was tired and cranky, waking up 2-3 times each night, taking an hour or more to get back to sleep, needing to be rocked but waking the moment I laid him down, and waking for the day at 5am. He's done so well with it, and it really happened fast. He has still been waking a lot but is able to get himself back to sleep without having any screaming fits anymore. He'll cry when I put him down, but when I leave the room, he just lays down and talks to himself. Pretty amazing, really, and if he's actually going to continue this sleeping-all-night thing, I will be really impressed.

When he was a newborn, people always asked me if he was "a good baby" and if he slept all night. No for both--but I honestly never dreamed it would be 8 months before we'd have a sleep-through-the-night experience. One thing's for sure, Little Dude has his own agenda for life!

thankful

2009-11-27T16:39:00.004-05:00

And now for the obligatory thankfulness post.

If you're my friend... if you're my family... I'm thankful for you.

For all I have and don't deserve... for all I've earned and lessons learned... I'm thankful for you, too.

family portraits

2009-11-22T10:06:00.004-05:00

We had some pictures taken yesterday. Eli wasn't especially cooperative, but Noah was surprisingly good.

In other news, Eli and I have colds. Darn it! Poor kid has had so many colds already in his few months of life, and I seem to always catch them from him, too... woe is we!

8 months

2009-11-18T19:26:00.002-05:00

Eli is 8 months old today!

a little catch-up

2009-11-15T09:31:00.008-05:00

Been in blogging la-la-land lately. Oops!

A bunch of Eli's due-date buddies got together for a meetup this last weekend in Ohio. After going through our pregnancies "together" and now raising our little ones "together," it just felt like we'd known each other forever. The kids did pretty well together, too. Of course Eli had to be a brute and steal everyone's toys, but at the zoo they kept their hands to themselves. Except for Ethan putting the moves on Eva. She looks a little ticked...

And since I somehow managed to miss it, here's our Little Stinker on Halloween.

fall at home

2009-10-30T06:44:00.014-04:00

I was hanging out with the boys the other day and really wanted to take them to a pumpkin patch, but to my surprise, I found out they aren't open on weekdays. So we went to the Walmart "patch" (i.e., giant box of dirty pumpkins) and "picked" a couple.

Noah had fun painting his, but Eli just wanted to eat both the paint and the pumpkin stem, so I had to help him a little with his. The design was totally his idea, though.

After I (finally) got Eli to take a nap, Noah and I ate some pumpkin-face quesadillas and dipped some pretzels in chocolate to make them pretty and yummy.

After Eli woke up, I tried really hard to get a photo together with both of them looking and smiling, but I'm thinking that might not happen until they're in their teens.

7 months

2009-10-21T09:40:00.006-04:00

Eli turned 7 months while we were at my parents' this last week. I'm finally getting his picture up! It's getting much more difficult to capture this shot now that he's wiggling away from me and distracted by just about everything. Asking a baby to do four things at once (i.e., sit still, hold sign, look at camera, and smile to boot!) is a little ridiculous, I guess.

He's officially on the move--we are crawling and pulling up to standing. Lowering the crib mattress is on my to-do list for today and Josh is in the process of making some cool-looking baby gates for the two sets of stairs. Here's a little crummy video (from my crummy-video-taking phone) of some crawling. We're going much faster now!

His new thing is skipping his naps, which he's attempting to do at the moment.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

2009-10-15T17:36:00.007-04:00

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and it makes me hug my little boy a little tighter today, even though we haven't had a good night's sleep in four days and he got his dinner all over his clothes tonight straining to look out the window instead of at the spoon.

It's ironic, because I just found out today that one of my friend Carrie F.'s twin boys died from SIDS yesterday. I'm so heartbroken for her and her family. I'm feeling so sad today thinking about what they are going through right now missing their little Brendon.

I'd also like to remember Baby Kaden, another of Eli's birth-month buddies who is in the arms of God right now. And I want to include here all the babies who have gone before and come after Kaden battling CDH.

To the families of babies I've followed online, such as Nolan, Mary Grace, Maxton, Ireland, and Brooke, I'm praying God's presence is apparent to you today.

To all my friends who have lost their precious babies in this life, I'm honoring you today with my thoughts and prayers. This life was short, but their lives in the arms of their Creator will last forever.

track it

2009-10-08T20:22:00.004-04:00

Gosh, I love tracking numbers.

There's something about the feeling I get when I get that email... the one that says "Hey! You bought something. Guess what? We shipped it! And here is something to tide you over until it gets there... a tracking number." Oooooh! I love it!

We've been using gDiapers for a few months now and although I enjoy cloth diapering, the g's aren't cutting it for us. Eli pees through them like nobody's business, and if he hasn't peed through it yet, he's pulled it off and pooped on the floor. Nothing against gDiapers but they just didn't work for us. So I'm in the process of trying to decide what to try next, and I bought a new BumGenius diaper yesterday. And just a few minutes ago, I opened an email and found my tracking number. Thank you! As soon as I'm done here, I'm heading right to UPS to type in my number... even though I know it hasn't even left the building yet.

My gdiaper stash will be hitting the market soon so be on the lookout, fluffy mamas!

a call for prayer

2009-10-02T18:05:00.003-04:00

Please pray for Nicole and Sam and their family. Nicole is 20 weeks pregnant and has been diagnosed with a placental abruption. She's on complete bedrest (I know how fun that is!) so that the placenta will hopefully reattach to the uterus.

Click here to read a little more. I know God can fix this! Let's cover them in prayer.

30-something daddy

2009-09-28T22:32:00.009-04:00

Today is Josh's 33rd birthday, so even though he had to go to work a little bit (surprise!) we tried to have a little bit of a celebratory day.

Eli and I worked hard making a birthday cake. Okay, he just sat in the high chair and played with Sophie and posed for this picture.

We also made some meatloaf "cupcakes" with mashed-potato "icing."

A little cake and snuggling helped to ring in another year of this life!

stats

2009-09-25T11:58:00.007-04:00

Even though Eli turned 6 months last Friday, he had his 6-month check-up today. At 18lb7.5oz and 28 3/4 inches long, he is in the 75th (weight) and 95th (height) percentiles.

Hard to believe he was ever my tiny boy in preemie clothes!

Eli, 2 days old

Eli, 6 months old

word love

2009-09-24T12:59:00.006-04:00

Check out Wordle.net. This is fun! I wish I had a ton of time to sit and play with this!

(not) sleepy time

2009-09-23T21:54:00.007-04:00

I dressed the boys in matching PJs for the first time tonight. Noah had these already and I found them in Eli's size at a consignment store so I had to get them.

Even though they're dressed for bed, they're not actually ready for bed. Why? Well, because they both slept an insane amount of time today. Josh put Noah down for his nap at 1pm. At 4:15 he put Eli down for a nap, and Noah was still sleeping. At 7:15, they were both still asleep! And Eli took a 3.5-hour nap earlier in the day, too. So I had to wake them both, and needless to say, no one here is ready for bed but us parents. Eli will be ready soon, but it almost seems like torture to make Noah go back to bed any time soon when he just took a six-hour nap.

What should we do with our evening? I guess we won't be catching up on our marathon of old episodes of Oz. Nothing like a little prison love for the innocent eyes of a child.

a very merry half-birthday

2009-09-18T20:47:00.008-04:00

... to Eli!

He turned 6 months old today!

Here are a couple pictures of our day.

first boo-boo

2009-09-07T10:32:00.006-04:00

Eli was sitting on the floor near where Noah was playing when he toppled over and hit his head on one of Noah's toys. I didn't think he hit that hard, so I was surprised when he started crying and we saw that he was bleeding. It was already looking blue with a big bump so I got some ice (well, chocolate chips from the freezer, haha) to hold on his head for a little while and it really worked. It doesn't look bad at all now. But it sure was sad at the time!

moving up

2009-09-03T15:52:00.005-04:00

Edit: We returned this seat for the My Ride 65. We love it!

We moved Eli into a convertible carseat this week. He's almost outgrown his carrier and he's so heavy I could hardly carry it anymore anyway. Plus, he hated it, so I was ready. We went with the Safety 1st Uptown since it had great reviews, has an 8 year life span, and was a great deal at $65 at Big Lots! It took awhile to get it all adjusted right, but he seems comfortable now.

He proved he was ready to be out of the carrier in his first big-boy ride in a shopping cart!

tickle tickle

2009-09-02T10:41:00.004-04:00

Recently Eli has started tickling me. Not on purpose, but I'm still ticklish.

I took my sleepy little boy upstairs and sat down in the rocking chair with him. I usually wrap up his arms to help him settle down, but this time I only covered up the arm on the outside; the arm under him and against me was free. I started to feed him his bottle and with his precious eyes closed as he cuddled up to me, I felt his little fingers opening and closing and rubbing my side. At first I just smiled and hugged him closer. But then it started to tickle. The more I tried not to laugh, the more ticklish I became. I was trying to laugh quietly but it was causing me to wiggle around to try to get away from his tickling fingers, all while trying to keep him quiet and sleepy. Now this is happening any time his arms aren't wrapped up, so I pretty much have to keep him swaddled to feed and rock him.

These are the moments I want to remember when my little boy grows up. When I think of his earliest days I don't want to just remember the screaming and sleepless nights. We have moments like this every day, but I don't always make a point to write them down or sit and recall them and smile.

But I want to.

staying put

2009-08-23T15:33:00.005-04:00

After a crazy week with everything up in the air, we aren't going to Texas. Josh is staying here and life has settled back down to our normal crazy. Whew!

Something kind of popular in baby circles these days is the amber teething necklace. Apparently Baltic amber has natural properties that make it an anti-inflammatory when worn against the skin. I couldn't decide if I believed it or not (Josh calls it voodoo), but I got him one Friday morning and since Friday evening he has been in a much better mood. We'll take it. I hope it really is helping with the teething pain. I wish they sold some that somehow look less girly, but I guess I can only ask for a happy baby and not a well-accessorized baby!

5 months

2009-08-18T20:49:00.006-04:00

Eli turned 5 months old today!

I've been meaning to post something lately but I kept putting it off. I told myself I had to post on his 5-month date anyway, so that was my deadline. So here I am for a big old update.

First of all, what I meant to come and tell you all was that on Thursday, July 31, Eli woke up a different baby. Goodbye, colic! For two weeks he was a completely different kid... happy, smiling, laughing, showing interest in toys, using his hands, and just so much more content. I was certain it was over and I was so happy to know I had survived 4.5 months of colic. But the last week he's been pretty miserable again... I am really hoping it's just teething or something and not a reversion.

In spite of his preemie status, he's been hitting his milestones a-ok. He's rolling both back to front and front to back and he's so close to sitting up unaided. I've been using sign language for "milk" with him since he was about 2 months old and he definitely recognizes it now. I can't wait for the first time he actually "tells" me what he wants! He's scooting himself backward and around in circles, so I'm waiting for a crawl. No teeth yet but they just have to be coming, as fussy and slobbery as he is.

We've had a bit of company lately! Eli got to meet lots of family, take his first trip to the zoo, and go swimming for the first time. I think he liked all of these things.

He and I both had nasty colds for over a week. Mine has morphed into allergies since my nemesis ragweed has finally come to town. My cold is gone but Eli's nose is still a snot machine, so I wonder if he might have my allergies. I didn't think they developed that young but I guess I'll have to read up on it.

And in the latest news, Josh is leaving us on Monday for two months to go to Texas for work. He'll come home to visit now and then, but it's probably going to be a long and difficult time for us. I'm a little afraid, since Eli is not the easiest baby to care for all hours of the day and night without any help. And I hate that Daddy is going to miss milestones. These are important months!

breaking and entering

2009-07-28T11:18:00.002-04:00

I went out on the back patio today to get some sun on my legs and to keep Eli happy (he loves it outside).

We sat out there for about an hour when he started fussing and acting hungry.

So I got our things together to go in and the door wouldn't open. It's a sliding glass door and the stick in the door had fallen down and locked us out.

So I gathered up the baby and we walked around to the front, hoping the door would be unlocked. It wasn't! And of course I was NOT dressed in a way I wanted the public to see me, since I was trying to get some sun on my awful legs (there will be no picture of this!). I tore the screen off the kitchen window but when I got to the window, it was locked. So were all the others (a good thing, I guess!). I couldn't call anyone, because my phone was in the house. Even if I could, Josh was at work and I drove him, so he couldn't help me, and no one has another key anyway.

So I realized I was going to have to crawl in the basement window. First I had to lug a bunch of 50-pound bags of sand away from the window, and then I had to break the window AND the frame, since it had a center bar and the window was already pretty small for me to fit through. So I beat it to death with the weapon shown below and tried to get all the glass pieces out of the window.

Then I remembered I wasn't wearing any shoes, so how was I going to jump down to the basement floor covered with shattered glass? Ugh!! So I tossed the cushion from one of the deck chairs down there, hoping it would be in the right place, since I couldn't see anything in there. Then I lowered myself down in, gingerly feeling around with my feet hoping NOT to find glass.

I managed to get in with just a bunch of scrapes and a lot of dirt all over me. I ran back upstairs to rescue Eli, who of course was screaming during the whole operation. I was sure I was going to get arrested either for breaking into my own house or leaving my baby outside screaming alone!

We are safe inside with full bellies now. Eli's doing his favorite thing, watching tv.

four months

2009-07-18T21:32:00.006-04:00

Eli is four months old today! And still a colicky dude. We are defying the odds! In the wrong way, though... argh.

Anyway, he's doing well other than that. He started sleeping through the night last week, usually from around 8pm to 6am... sometimes 5am, but still it's better than waking up a few times a night. The cereal seems to be going well. He's rolling from belly to back and is starting to hold things a little bit if I wrap his fingers around it. And not the best thing, but he seems to like television! He'll sit for about 10-15 minutes watching tv... and trust me, 10 minutes of relief for my arms is a big deal. Lately he won't let me put him down, so I'll take what I can get!

Here's his 4-month picture!

In other news, we did get our free gro-baby diaper! Josh is still learning how this cloth diaper thing goes...

But Mom's got it down.

good eats

2009-07-11T18:50:00.004-04:00

Eli's been eating us out of house and home! Since there's a max amount of formula babies should have in a day and Eli is consistently going over it, our pediatrician said it was time to start giving him cereal. He'll be four months next week, so just a little bit early. I was a little worried about how it might go, but he did pretty well. The second time went better than the first. He still doesn't know what to do with the spoon (or his tongue, even, really) but I think he'll catch on quickly.

By the way, he weighed in at 14lb, 6.5 oz. That's almost triple his birth weight (5lb2oz)!

Here's Cereal Face in pictures and video!

Eli's first solids from shannon burke on Vimeo.

child of the cloth

2009-07-01T19:46:00.006-04:00

We've crossed over to the other side. We're going cloth! At least a little bit at a time. It's kind of expensive to start up so I figure I'll add slowly to the collection and eventually maybe we'll do it exclusively. For now, I'm still figuring things out. But the first six came in the mail yesterday, so we're getting on our way. Here's Eli's little orange gdiaper butt!

This will be the first kind we've tried so far. I want to try some other types too, but it will take a little time . One I want to try is the Gro Baby... I've heard such good things about them and score... they'll send me one to try if I post about them here. I'll let you know how we like it when it comes! And of course I'll show you how cute he looks in it too.

http://www.thenaturalbabyco.com/grobaby%E2...2-ic-11_16.html

catching up

2009-06-29T14:39:00.010-04:00

Okay, it's been a long time. My surgery got me all out of sorts and now I really feel like I'm finally catching up with everything... in real life too, not just in blog-land.

I am gallbladderless and it went fine. It was a lot worse than I expected though--a lot of people made it seem like it would be a really simple surgery to recover from but I didn't find that to be true. My parents came and were such a huge help when I really needed them. My belly button incision got infected so I was back visiting the doctor last week but otherwise everything has been fine.

Eli turned 3 months old during my blog-hiatus. I attempted to take him for some real, official 3-month portraits but the little stinker wasn't having any of it. He cried the whole time we were there so it was really a waste of my time. I have lots of pictures but I was really hoping to get some official ones at the milestones. I hope he's a lot more cooperative by 6 months! Oh well. Here's his monthly shot:

Speaking of shots, we are finally caught up!

Another new development is hair loss. I'm not sure how my hairy little man has now become almost completely bald on top! I miss his hair! I hope it comes back soon but in the meantime, it's something to giggle about. He looks so funny with his pattern baldness.

Josh's car is broken and we are getting tired of being stuck in the house all the time while he takes the car to work. Argh! We have replaced a lot of things and so far nothing is working. Pray for this! We are not in a financial situation that will really make room for a new vehicle. We started living on one salary this month and it is really rather terrifying. We are trusting God with this. I'm trying to fit some freelance editing in where I can. It's not easy but I hope as Eli gets a little older we're going to fall into a good routine where things do get a little bit easier.

I guess that's all I have for now. Here are some random pictures since I made you wait so long.

... and a video of Noah holding Eli. I love how he's talking to him and we can't understand it. :)

good days

2009-06-14T09:29:00.007-04:00

I think we're seeing the light at the end of the colicky tunnel!

Thursday afternoon Eli started acting like a much happier baby. All of a sudden I could see such a huge change! We've still had our moments, like screaming through diaper changes, hysteria after a bath, and so forth, but in between we're having a lot more happy, smiling moments. Suddenly we're having fun and I'm so excited to say so! I hope it sticks. It started the day after he turned 12 weeks old, so I guess the 3-month estimation on the colic was true!

Josh's car is on the fritz so we've been stuck at home all week while J drove my car to work. It was kind of rough but we spent some time at the park right down the street, where I learned that Eli loves riding on the tire swing with me, and we just love the short walk to get the mail. He really loves to be outside.

My gallbladder surgery is tomorrow. I'm starting to get nervous now! I just can't wait until it's over. I was going through hospital bills yesterday... argh! We owe money at hospitals all over the city now with my surgeries and Eli's issues. I'm trying not to think about it too much. Staying home is a blessing but it's also a little scary!

Anyway. Here's some proof of our recent happiness!

good news

2009-06-05T14:58:00.007-04:00

I have some good news for you!

You won't believe it.

Daddy's working day shift!

So excited to hang out with him!

surgery

2009-06-03T21:35:00.004-04:00

What a crazy week it's been so far. Saturday night I was in the ER finding out I need gallbladder surgery. Monday we were at Children's getting an ultrasound for Eli and found out he needed surgery, too.

I had a feeling it would go that direction, but I was surprised they wanted to do it immediately. They sent us right from the Close to Home center directly to Children's and admitted us. I was hoping they'd do it that night, but they decided he needed to be on fluids overnight and they'd do the surgery in the morning. Well, that was okay, except poor Eli had been fasting for his ultrasound, so he hadn't eaten since 10am. He was already two feedings late at that point and he was so hungry and sad. They said he couldn't eat all night! I couldn't believe it. I was in tears with him. Watching him cry hungry was the worst. I just couldn't believe they let him go 30 hours without food... by the time the surgery was over and 3 more hours had passed.

hungry baby

I thought I was mentally prepared for the surgery, but it turned out I was a wreck. When they came to the room to take us down to surgery, I started crying and then by the time we got down there, I had calmed down. But then when they brought in the little face mask to put him to sleep with to show me it smelled like cherry, I started crying again. Then when they finally took him away from me, I was so upset. The nurse put him on her shoulder and walked away down a long hall, so I could see him looking back at me over her shoulder and crying. It was so sad. I wanted so much for it to be over, but I was so afraid to send him back there. I was thinking all kinds of irrational thoughts about never seeing him again. The wait in the waiting room was torture but luckily it was only just over an hour before the doctor came to tell us he was doing fine.

sleeping so peacefully after surgery

He slept most of the afternoon and then fussed most of the evening. I felt so bad for him because he was so tired, mostly drug-induced, I think, and then he was only allowed to have a little tiny amount of formula to eat and he was SO hungry. He slept well overnight though and by morning he seemed like a different baby! He was content with the 3oz we had worked up to and wanted to play and coo and smile. We left the hospital by 10am, stopped to eat, and came home and we all three took naps.

getting ready to go home

I had to wake him last night to feed him every three hours, so I'm hoping maybe there's a chance we'll start sleeping a little longer soon! It was all really difficult, but I'm so glad it's over and I can't wait for my little dude to start feeling normal and not having so many belly issues.

Eli's first sickness

2009-05-24T17:38:00.003-04:00

We survived Eli's first bug!

We did a penpal program at work with a local 4th grade class, and Thursday we had a lunch at the school to meet the kids. I had to take Eli, and he started to be sick the next day so I'm pretty sure that's where he picked it up.

He started Friday afternoon with the runs, and throughout the night he was having at least two bouts of diarrhea with every feeding, and some here and there in between. By Saturday morning he had a fever of 100.9 and was acting even more fussy than normal. I gave him some tylenol and a bath and his fever came down, but he still had bad poops and then started with the puking.

Why do we always get sick on the weekend? I called the pedi's answering service because I was worried about dehydration. The doctor told me to give him pedialyte and watch his fever. By about 1am he was screaming for food, so we gave him a little at a time and by about 4am he ate 4oz, so we all went to bed. He woke up fine this morning, although he has been extra fussy all day.

Poor kid! So small to already have a sore butt from diarrhea! I felt so bad for him. Now we wait to see if the rest of the house catches his plague. I'm so glad Josh was home. We are looking forward to a more normal (well, we hope) night of sleep tonight!

got my smile!

2009-05-21T21:03:00.006-04:00

I finally got my smile this morning.

He has been smiling at me at night for awhile... it's one of the only things that makes that nighttime feeding worthwhile. It's always the feeding that happens around 4-5am. He's milk-drunk and happy and looks up at me wide-eyed and smiles. It says "I'm full and cozy and I love when you hold me" and I get all happy and fall in love with him again, even though he keeps waking me up at night. :)

But today I got a real smile as a response. I was starting to feel pretty silly with all the baby talk trying to get him to think I'm funny, so it was a relief to see that it finally paid off. His happiest time is right after we get up, fed, and dressed in the morning and come downstairs into the light. That's when I managed to score today. Maybe again tomorrow?

On another note, I gave my notice today at work. I am officially a stay-at-home mom. My lifelong dream realized. Bring on the ramen and hamburger helper.

Not the greatest picture, but I managed to almost catch the smile!

2 months

2009-05-19T12:11:00.007-04:00

Eli turned 2 months old yesterday! It was an especially fussy day so I had a hard time getting him to pose for a picture. I thought about cheating and taking another one today, but it just wouldn't be right.

Here's an attempt at a comparison from last month:

His reflux has been doing a lot better with the cereal in his bottle. He's still colicky and fussy but at least he's not spitting up all the time. I feel like he might be getting ever so slightly better... maybe an extra half hour a day he isn't quite as fussy. I'm trying to be optimistic and see that there is an end in sight. Jen came over to relieve me for awhile on Sunday evening and I really felt better when I got back. And then... he slept almost seven hours! I fed him at 7 and put him in bed by 8 and he didn't wake me up until 1:45am. I couldn't believe it. Last night he went 6 hours. I'm tempted to start putting him to bed later so we only have one wakeup but I don't think it's fair to mess up his nighttime routine. I am very grateful for any extra sleep he decides to give me!

I've started putting him down for naps on a schedule and in his crib. He seems to be responding well to that, sleeping better and longer for all his naps and I'm finally realizing how SAHMs get anything done! Suddenly I have a couple hours of uninterrupted time to myself when I can get things done. I'm so glad I'm starting to learn the ropes of this motherhood thing. Of course, right in time to add work into the mix...

Speaking of work, Josh has a potential position change that would put him on a normal M-F day shift. Pray for us! I really need him at home at night, and it sure would be nice if Daddy always came home for dinner.

Eli's appointment today

2009-05-15T21:39:00.008-04:00

I took Eli to the doctor this morning. I was really impressed that the doctor spent so much time sitting down and talking with me about things without ever making me feel dumb or incapable. Doctors always intimidate me, but he seems like such a good guy!

Eli is up to 10lb6oz now, so regardless of all the spitting up and misery, he's still gaining like a pro. So there's the sunny side.

The doctor and I came to the agreement that the formula has pretty much nothing to do with things, so we've switched back to the regular old gentle formula. He's having us add rice cereal as a thickener to try to keep the milk from sloshing so much and hopefully that will keep it in his belly. So far today it's been going down (and staying down) just fine. Whew!

Next problem: the screaming. He said according to the upper GI we had on Monday, Eli's top valve isn't working right, thus the reflux, but also, the lower valve isn't working quite right either, so his stomach isn't emptying as fast as it should be. He said I've got bum luck because the top valve problem means Eli is fussy while he eats, and the bottom valve means he is fussy after he eats, and then he's colicky the rest of the time since his poor belly is all crampy and full of crap. :)

Regarding the colic, the doctor asked if I have anyone to help out because he wants me to leave the house for 2 hours every day for awhile. He said babies feed so much on our emotions, and my stress from his constant screaming is causing him stress. I am not surprised to learn that he's picking up on my anxieties, but it sure isn't a good feeling. The doctor said it's common with screamers and he sees it a lot where a mom will bring a baby in screaming but then when handed to the doctor, the kid stops crying. He said we need to try to break the routine we're in where he cries all evening by finding someone to help me out when Josh isn't home so that I can be out of the house and we can try to "reset" things for Eli. He also made a point to say that while he does care about me and my mental health, he is telling me to make this happen for Eli's sake, not mine. He said I can sit on the porch and cry for two hours if I want to, but I need to be out of the house.

So that leads me to my last point. Since I don't have any family here to help out, I'm really at a loss for who to ask for help. I'm jealous of people who have their moms nearby! Anyone out there willing to come and sit with little Eli for two hours (5-7) some evening, maybe once a week for the next couple weeks? Next week will be Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday. The week after that will be Monday, Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday. Pay is hugs. Plus, he'll probably be an angel for you. He only screams for me!

formula and family

2009-05-12T21:45:00.007-04:00

Eli's gastro issues have been driving me nuts! Him too, I'm sure. If he's not sleeping or eating, he's crying. I have a hard time just accepting that he has colic and is going to be like this for two more months, but I'm afraid we're heading that direction. He's been a screamer since 2 weeks, and the screaming is much worse in the evenings. He has reflux and gas issues and we just can't seem to make them better.

He had an upper GI yesterday morning. He had to fast for 4 hours before the test, and I was certain he would be screaming, but he did fairly well for being hungry. He wore a cute little hospital gown (albeit pink) and they X-rayed him while he drank some barium. I guess he was starving, because he sucked the nasty stuff right down! The test showed he legitimately has reflux but nothing else is wrong with his insides, so that was good news. The doctor switched Eli's formula to some apparently powdered gold that costs $26 a can. A small can. Ugh! So far it does seem to help a little with the reflux but he's still having butt trouble. So he's still screamy and I'm still frustrated and we're paying out the wazoo for it.

(crappy picture taken with my crappy phone camera. I can't believe I forgot my camera!)

We had Eli's dedication at church this past Sunday, so the family came in for it, which was nice. There were about 20 babies being dedicated at the same time, so Josh was spared the anxiety of being in the spotlight and I was able to take off my shoes on stage without anyone really noticing. And wonder of all wonders, the kid slept right through it! I was sure he would be the baby who cried, but he made his mama proud. Probably because he knew it was Mother's Day.

more help

2009-05-04T18:02:00.004-04:00

Eli's Aunt Joyce came to spend the weekend and help with the late-night feedings. Wait, not help. Take over! I was expecting to still get up and help but she sent me to bed and said to get some sleep. So I got to sleep through the night all weekend! Of course I usually woke up when I heard him but it sure felt good to know he was taken care of and just roll over and go back to sleep. Thank you, Joyce!

Eli had his first shots last week. It was so sad to hear him squeal in pain! I was so glad Josh was there to hold him for it, because then I can just make Daddy out to be the bad guy. He's gained a lot of weight! He was 9lb2oz last Thursday. Today we went back and he weighs 9lb10oz! I don't know how he is packing on the pounds so fast! He's still having a lot of reflux issues. He's taking Zantac and we've increased the dosage. I've started giving him Mylanta, which seems to at least calm him down during feedings, and today we made our first visit to the chiropractor. I hope something works soon. Poor little guy with his lousy digestive system!

In other news, I started a diet last Monday and today was my first weigh-in. I lost 4 pounds! I gained 65 while I was pregnant and so far I am down 42. I am going for it with this diet and hoping to finally manage to get down to my goal weight, so I still have quite a few left to lose before I'm going to be content, but I sure am glad I'm at least starting to shed the baby pounds. Now the baby flab... I just have no idea how that's going to go away but I'll keep trying.

Happy birthday, Jen!

6 weeks

2009-04-29T22:03:00.004-04:00

"I'm six weeks old?! Nuh-uh!" -Eli

sitters and stuff

2009-04-25T22:24:00.003-04:00

We left Eli with a babysitter for the first time this morning! Bethany and Ryan came to watch the boys while we went to one of Josh's work functions. I thought I might be a nervous wreck but I did fine, and the boys did, too. It was nice to get to do something together even if it wasn't the most exciting adventure.

Since the weather has been so amazing this weekend, we have been outside a lot more than usual. It's been great to get out in the sun and I'm so glad spring is here! It was 87 today, so it really seems more like summer at the moment. And I have a sunburn to prove it!

This little smile was yesterday at Amanda's. I haven't seen any mommy smiles yet, but sometimes he smiles in his sleep.

And some from the park today!

Today we found out Eli's dedication will be Sunday, May 10, which happens to be Mother's Day. I'm a little nervous about standing in front of the church since I am still feeling frumpy and fat, but it's nice that it fell so neatly after he was born. If he'd have been on time, it would have been too soon to take him to church. So, if you'd like to come, you can! Let me know and I'll give you the details.

due date

2009-04-23T20:46:00.005-04:00

Today was supposed to be our big day! I never thought the day would come, and now it's here and Eli is already more than 5 weeks old. Man, I am so glad it's over. At 1am last night, my phone went off and I didn't recognize the ring. I picked it up and realized it was the countdown I had set for the baby's due date the day Josh and I left the OB's office after my very first prenatal appointment when we saw a fluttering heartbeat.

I had my postpartum appointment today. It felt kind of funny to tell my OB all about my delivery, since it seems like he should have been there! He cleared me to do anything I want except sit-ups. Oh, darn.

a little help

2009-04-22T00:24:00.007-04:00

After many nights on shift by myself had me frazzled enough to call home and cry, I finally got a little help from the fam. Dad brought Mom last Sunday and drove back to pick her up on Saturday. Laurie flew in Friday and left Monday afternoon. It was so good to have help, especially with the nighttime feedings. Mothering is so much harder than my regular job! Here's my nanny crew with Eli (note the pacifier--I guess he was upset that they were leaving!).

I did something new today--I braved going out with both kids! Josh was at Bible study and I needed to go to Babies R Us, so I loaded up two kids in two carseats and plopped two kids in one shopping cart. I considered taking a picture for you, but it was raining and I kind of had enough on my hands. It was a successful trip. It helped that Noah was quite good!

In not-so-good (okay, terrible) news, my friend Kristi's sweet baby Kaden lost his battle to a disease called CDH today. Kaden fought CDH for 17 days. Kristi and her husband knew about Kaden's disease long before he was born and they trusted God to take care of their family and now they are faced with accepting God's way of answering that prayer. Please pray for Kristi and Craig as they mourn their baby and seek peace and understanding.

Baby Kaden

Well, midnight feeding is over, so it's time for bed for us. We're going to try leaving Eli in his crib tonight even though Noah is sleeping in their room, so I'll let you know how just heavy a sleeper Noah really is!

1 month old

2009-04-18T23:15:00.013-04:00

Eli is 1 month old today! I can hardly believe it's been that long.

He is doing much better with the sleeping these days. Still not perfect and he definitely has days and nights mixed up. But after changing a bunch of factors, he is doing better. He is sleeping much better on his side in a sleep positioner on an inclined mattress. Much to my diaper-factory-managing husband's dismay, Little Dude is a big-time pee-er and he is peeing straight through all the zillion diapers we've stocked up on. So tonight we're trying out Pampers at night and Josh's diapers during the day. We'll see how that goes tomorrow.

He is starting to be a lot more alert. He wakes up now and then and will look around and almost engage with us. We have a little eye contact sometimes, although very brief, so I think we are on our way to hitting some milestones! I'm excited. He smiles in his sleep a lot. It's so cute!

Everything is going well. I just cannot wait until he gains enough weight to start sleeping in longer stretches. I'm pretty worn out. Mom and Laurie have been here to help out this week, though, and it has made such a huge difference. I am so grateful! And a bit afraid of going back to not having any help...

In other news, today is not only 1 month for Eli. It is also our first anniversary! Josh is working this weekend but we had a nice afternoon together while Mom and Laurie took care of Eli at home. It has been a great year with a very special guy. I'm so proud he is mine!

Easter 2009

2009-04-14T13:15:00.011-04:00

Eli wasn't too impressed with Easter. He looked cute, though. :)

Here's what he did while we colored eggs. You can see that I included him by getting some green dye on his little old-man pants. It came out!

After I took this picture and Eli had punched Noah in the mouth, Noah ran to Josh and said, "Eli put his germs on me!" That made me laugh, but he was being serious. I guess I'm telling him about getting his germs on the baby a little too often.

Another quote from Noah: "I'm holding Eli!" Of course Eli didn't seem to care.

This seemed like a great idea at the time, but he sure was mad. I like it anyway!

Much love from me and my jelly bean (courtesy of Patty!). Hope everyone had a blessed Easter. And lots of candy, too.

some 2-week pictures

2009-04-05T17:32:00.003-04:00

It's a good thing he's so cute during the day, since he cries all night...

Eli is wearing his very first newborn-size outfit today! Yay for a growing baby!

I was trying to take some pictures today and ended up catching his pee midstream in a photo. Boys!

What you lookin at?

2 weeks

2009-04-02T23:11:00.003-04:00

Eli was 2 weeks old yesterday and had another doctor appointment today. He is doing great gaining weight! He was born at 5lb2oz, left the hospital at almost 5lb4oz, was 5lb11.5oz at 1 week, and today he weighed in at 6lb7oz! He is still tiny but he seems to be filling out a little bit. We can see a difference in his cute little cheeks.

He is a gassy little creature so he's been fussy lately. Josh went back to work on Monday and it has been rough. He works night shift and it is a looong shift, so that means I am on my own day and night, since he works all night and then sleeps all day and gets up to go back to work. I hope we can adjust to this schedule soon.

Everything is going fine though, other than all of us being quite tired. I need to take some more pictures... I've been so tired lately and just sitting around zoning out these days. I'll try to post something new soon.

He's home!

2009-03-24T05:18:00.008-04:00

Sunday morning when we got to the NICU to settle in for our day there, the nurse told us it looked like Eli would be released the next day. We were surprised it happened so quickly! She said he seemed like a different baby overnight because he had started eating so well. So, it was time to go home!

We went over yesterday around 10am and left with him around 2. Not too bad for working at hospital speed (i.e., quite slowly). It was cute to see him in street clothes after hanging out for 5 days in his little hospital-issued t-shirt. We put him in the one preemie outfit I had bought just in case. I was never expecting to actually need it! Even the newborn-sized clothes are much too big on him so we're going to have to get some preemie things pretty quickly.

The first day (well, half-day) was exhausting. I know it's an adjustment, but I just wasn't expecting to be so tired! It felt like as soon as I got him down from one feeding, he was crying again for the next one. He poops like a crazy man, too. I normally don't mind diaper changes but I feel so bad for his sore little pee-pee!

Josh took over around 10pm and I climbed into bed. I slept until 4am before coming back to switch shifts with him and it was the best sleep I have had in months. I guess I needed to be really exhausted. Man, it felt good.

Noah finally got to meet Eli, too. He was intrigued. He smiled a lot and kept asking if Eli came out of my belly.

I hear grunting noises. Better get some milk warming.

day 1 with and without my baby

2009-03-22T09:36:00.004-04:00

This is harder than I thought. I felt like I mostly had it together when we left yesterday, but I'm pretty emotional now. Last night Josh said something and I started crying and couldn't stop. I don't really even know why.

Aside from the obvious, there are a couple things I already miss about the hospital:

A nurse to keep nagging me to take my medicine. I forgot to take anything before I went to bed last night and I woke up in the middle of the night in a lot of pain. I'm still trying to catch up with it.

A bed that moves up and down. I can't get out of bed without Josh's help because I can't sit up on my own. I laid in bed for a few minutes last night trying to decide what to do when I had to pee and couldn't get myself up. I didn't want to wake him, but I really didn't have a choice. It's hard needing help to do the basic things.

Help bars... everywhere. Those handicap-help bars are all over the place in a hospital. Now I have to use my own resources to get on and off the toilet, in and out of the shower, and so on. I didn't realize how much I appreciated those until now.

There are things I do not miss, though, like a blood-thinner shot every morning, someone checking my vitals every hour, and not getting to sleep beside Josh. I really missed that.

Can someone get me some ice chips? Oh. Crap.

going home

2009-03-21T12:54:00.002-04:00

I'm being released today, but Eli isn't coming with us. I considered staying an extra day to be close, but he might be here longer than that and I already don't want to know what this bill is going to look like!

Things are going well, though. I'm still a bit tired and sore but today is a lot better than yesterday. I'm slowly beginning to feel less traumatized by the events of this past week. Maybe in a few years I'll actually not be horrified by the thought of doing it again. Or maybe not. :)

Eli is doing pretty well. He lost some weight and is working on getting it back. He's breathing great and is off the IV completely. The only problem we're left to conquer is feeding. He's doing pretty well but he poops out in the middle of feedings sometimes and they have to use the feeding tube. He can't go home until he's built up the stamina it takes to stay awake through all his feedings in a 24-hour period.

Josh has been great to be here all the time and has been taking good care of both of us. I love to see him with Eli. I wondered how exactly the father bonds with the baby in the same way the mom does after carrying him for so long, but apparently it all works itself out.

I'm sad to leave him here, but I also don't want to take him home and find myself unable to get him to eat. He'll be home soon and we'll have a lifetime for this journey together.

Some pictures from our hospital stay so far:

Eli Samuel Burke 3/18/09

And we have a birthday.

2009-03-18T08:41:00.003-04:00

Well, Little Dude knew what he wanted and he got it.

Around 10:30 last night the nurses came in and said I was having contractions. I wasn't feeling them, but apparently they were causing decels in Eli's heartrate, so they decided to do a c-section right away.

Of course I was scared to death but I'm glad it all happened so fast. I hated the c-section and had to work so hard at staying calm but the doctors and nurses were very nice and patient with me. Josh did a great job, too.

I didn't get to hold him yet, but Josh did. I barely even got to see him. He's in the NICU now but he's breathing ok. I think it depends on when he will feed to decide when he can go home. Otherwise he is doing well. I am recovering and I hate medicines but I'm surviving it!

Eli Samuel was born at 12:07am on Wed 3/18. He is 5lb2oz, and 19-3/4 inches long. Tall and skinny like his dad. He definitely has the Burke mouth (which I've always thought was so cute!) but otherwise I haven't really seen him enough to decide.

I'll post more pictures later but here are two for now. Hopefully today we'll get some non-goop-covered ones. :)

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! Much love to all of you!

34w5d - delivery mind games

2009-03-17T20:11:00.005-04:00

Well, I've sure been through it today.

Last night was bad in L&D and Eli failed his NSTs. So I had to come back this morning for more tests and when he failed again and then failed another test too, they decided I would be having this baby today. Since he is definitely breech, I spent all day gearing myself up for this c-section. They got the IV in (ugh!) and shipped me to another hospital by ambulance (ugh!) to have it done.

The ambulance ride freaked me out but I was at least mentally preparing myself for what I was facing. Then I get here and they start the tests over again! They decided they don't want to trust the tests I already had done, so they had to do their own. They repeated the test, which of course he failed, and then they decided to admit me overnight so they can repeat the tests in the morning (just like I did this morning for last night's tests!).

So I'm here in my room. I have had more pokes and prods and I HATE this IV. I can't wait to get it out. I hope I can sleep tonight, but I'm so nervous about what tomorrow will bring. I was at least amped up for it and now I feel like I have to start over with the freaking out. We really thought we'd be bringing home a St Patty's Day baby!

Josh is sleeping on the couch. Poor guy worked all night and then was up with me at the hospital all day. I'm still trying to update all the million people we told we were having this baby today.

34w - more hospital time

2009-03-12T21:44:00.004-04:00

Man, I am getting really sick of the hospital!

After Tuesday's ridiculously high numbers, my doctor called and wanted me to go back in Wednesday for more monitoring. I also had to get a steroid shot in my butt to help develop Eli's lungs in case he has to come early. Josh was able to take me, and that really helped with the anxiety. We were there about 2.5 hours, so he was pretty antsy by the end but we survived. The shot was a little scary but it didn't feel too bad.

My doctor was there to talk to me yesterday, which really helped. He made me feel a lot less anxious about everything. He will be ready to deliver at 36 weeks if my BP keeps getting higher. He seems to think it will but he isn't sure how fast it will happen. At 38 weeks he will induce. That will be the week of April 9... my mom's birthday! She's been hoping for it so it's funny how that worked out to be a real possibility.

I had to go back today for the second shot. This one hurt a bit more than yesterday's, but at least it was in the other cheek! :) I'm done with the shots now and hopefully we're getting some super lungs going in there. Since I failed my kick count test, I had to get back on the monitor again today. Argh! I was only there an hour, though, which is a definite record. And as long as they keep their promise, I don't have to go back until Monday. I am so glad to have a few days off from the hospital!

So I'm back on the couch with a symmetrically sore bottom. I'm so glad my doctor told me the couch was acceptable. Stuck in bed all day and night was pretty miserable and it was only one day! I'm still supposed to be lying on my side all the time, though.

I guess I'm glad it's almost over! Now I'm getting a little scared about delivery, though, since it's coming up so soon now! It feels so much more real than it has up until now.

Oh, and as for why Josh wasn't answering his phone the other day: He was sleeping upstairs and his phone was on silent downstairs. I agree, not a great excuse, but at least he wasn't ignoring me. :)

33w5d - bedrest

2009-03-10T21:07:00.003-04:00

Since Little Dude is giving me high blood pressure and elephant feet, I was set to start bedrest today after a little wrap-up at the office this morning.

I went back to the hospital for more monitoring this afternoon and had a miserable time of it. I think I started out stressed from work and I was anxious to get done. So my BP was high right from the start.

Then, since it was high they had to do bloodwork :( So I have two more holes and of course that had me crying and a mess. Then my BP went up even more. Then they said I had to wait an hour for my lab results, and I wanted to go home! My phone was dead so I couldn't call Josh and I started getting pretty anxious and then I couldn't stop crying. They told me if I couldn't calm down they wouldn't let me go home b/c my BP was 174/101! When your BP is dangerously high, the machine beeps so the nurses know... it kept going off every time and that sound was making me more anxious and scaring me so I just could not calm down. I called Josh a hundred times from the hospital phone and he never answered, which was making me both mad AND upset. Finally I talked myself into rolling over and trying to just go to sleep to see if that would help. It took awhile but I managed to finally get myself calmed down and after 45 minutes with consistently better numbers they finally let me go home. I was there about three and a half hours this time.

BUT now my doctor put me on strict bedrest. :( I have to be in bed lying on my side at all times, except to go to the bathroom and eat. I'm not even allowed to be on my back. And I'm not allowed to drive anywhere and they wouldn't even let me walk to my car... I had to ride in a wheelchair. I felt like such a dork.

So now I'm home trying to comply. It's been like two hours and I'm already bored and lonely and sick of being on my side. And I'm not sure how I'm going to eat since Josh won't make anything but peanut butter sandwiches and mac n' cheese. Hello, sodium!

The doctor told me they like to deliver by 38 weeks, so if I hit 39 and haven't gone yet, they'll probably induce then. I'm a little anxious now to know it's almost time, but I think the next couple weeks are going to seem even longer than the last 33.

33w1d - an evening at L&D

2009-03-06T20:34:00.005-05:00

I had a regular OB appointment today, but I was planning to show my elephant feet and see what they had to say.

I pulled off my socks and ended up at the hospital.

My blood pressure was 166/94, there was protein in my urine, and of course, there were my feet. The doctor looked at them and made a face I wish I could reproduce here for you. She said I needed to go to Labor & Delivery right away so off I went.

As soon as I went in, there was that hospital smell and it instantly made me feel sick and nervous. It was okay, though. They put me in a room and hooked me up to some monitors to watch the baby and take my blood pressure over and over. I also had to have a blood draw (wah!) and it wasn't as lucky as the last time. This time I got three sticks before the evil woman got a vein... including one in each hand, which really hurt!

My blood came back okay, so my liver is functioning (always good news). But my BP didn't go down enough and I still had tainted pee. They sent me home with a jug to pee in for 24 hours and I have to go back to the hospital tomorrow for more monitoring. It sounds likely that I'll end up on bedrest, which is better than the alternative: a very early delivery. Hopefully that won't have to happen, but she did say it could.

I guess I'm going to put my elephant feet up and go to bed.

32w1d

2009-02-27T08:00:00.005-05:00

I forgot to tell you all I passed my GD test!

I went back in this week because I've been so sick and couldn't seem to shake it. I got some more antibiotics (round 3!) and they seem to be helping. It's improving now, thank goodness, and I really hope it sticks this time! Anyway, while I was there I asked the doctor if he had my results and he just said, "yep, normal." I was so shocked I almost fell off the table. I told him how surprised and excited I was, so he told me my number was 115, and it takes 140 to fail. So... woohoo! I am so relieved and excited. Thanks, everyone, for letting me fuss about it!

In other health news, check out my cankles.

31w6d - on stepparenting

2009-02-25T08:52:00.010-05:00

With the combination of my hormones, general exhaustion (laziness?), and short temper and Noah's terrible twos not quite done yet, I have felt like stepparenting has been trying a lot lately. He is young but he's already started snarking at me (things like, "no, daddy will do it" or "this is for Mommy," aka "not you"), telling me no, and last night he even told his dad that I hit him (I have never done such a thing!). And since I'm tired, cranky, and sick, I have little patience to pet his little head and let things go these days. I'm trying to work harder at it, though.

Anyway, in spite of all of that, he has really come around with this Eli business in the last month or so. At first he would answer our questions if we asked (What's the baby's name? Where is he? and so on) but now he's talking about him a lot. He helped Josh build the crib awhile back and it seems like that made a big difference. We all sat in the boys' room the other night and played and Noah was trying to show us that Eli's clothes are, in fact, too small for him. He had this orange onesie on his head and the arms were sticking out like tiger ears. I wish I had taken a picture, but the waddle to my camera would have taken longer than the moment would have lasted.

Now he's started telling us how he's going to teach Eli to do this or that, and his latest thing is he wants to give him a kiss all the time. It's so cute when he kisses my belly and then announces proudly what he did ("I gave Wee-wi a kiss!").

To come full-circle, the other night when we asked who ripped a page out of one of his books, he stated firmly: "Wee-wi did." Kids!

31w2d - made it!

2009-02-21T09:53:00.006-05:00

I survived!

I went back to the room and the nurse told me I could pick lemon-lime or fruit punch. I was all disappointed because I had asked a lot of people and decided on the orange! I went for fruit punch, and it actually just tasted like kool-aid. It was cold, which I think really helped, and it was okay. The worst part was just having to drink it fast. She gave me a few minutes to get it down. I felt a little dizzy from it, but it could've been nerves, too. So that part was okay.

Then I headed over to the lab at the hospital. I went to check in and told them I wanted to start with Louise. They said she leaves at 2:30 on Fridays, and that was when I started with the crying. When the not-Louise nurse came to get me and told me to sit, I gave her the rules. I will cry (she could already tell this part), I have to lie down, I'm a big baby so be gentle, I need a butterfly needle, use my right arm, and no digging. So she took care of all my requests and then got it in one stick! I was so shocked. When I felt it go in and then noticed she wasn't doing anything, I said "is it flowing??" and she said "yep!" and I could not believe it. No one has gotten my vein in one stick in years. When she pulled it out and band-aided me, I thanked her for being so nice and told her I loved her.

So that part is done. Now I wait until Monday afternoon for the results to find out if I have to do it all over again... x3. Let's pray I passed! Thanks for thinking of me today :)

31w1d

2009-02-20T10:13:00.005-05:00

Just a day short of 9 weeks left. People keep asking how much longer and then say "that long!?" when I answer. That sure isn't helping it speed by.

I have my glucose test today to check for GD. It should've been a few weeks ago but I was sick and then they had to push it back because of the steroids they gave me for the bronchitis. So it's this afternoon at 3:40 and I am dreading it. I have a hard time with force-feeding myself nasty liquids, so I hope that part isn't too bad. But I'm most worried about the blood draw... and of course the test results.

Every time I go for a blood test, it's the same. I sit in the waiting room and try to hold it together. But then my eyes defy me and start pooling up with tears. I fight them back and try not to look around. I'm sure everyone has noticed. I wait and wait. Then the door opens and they call my name, and the tears spill over. I look up at the woman and start walking toward her and she gives me a "you poor thing" look, and then the real tears start. They let me lie down in a room. I try to tell her I need the best nurse they have, and she just pats me on the back and says she can do it. Then, of course, she can't. She tries one arm, usually both, before she goes looking for the best nurse, just like I told her to do before I had extra holes in my skin and at least five minutes of sobbing ago. Then they bring in Louise, my favorite, who tells me not to worry, that men are bigger babies than children (I always get this same story), and then talks about her kids. She gets it in one stick in my right arm, and I face the other way, trying to calm down the hysterics. She tells me to wait to sit up, so I do. Then she hugs me and I thank her for being so nice. I leave all hole-y and puffy faced and can't imagine having to do it again next time.

So I know what awaits me today, and I'm really not looking forward to it.

Then if I fail this test, I get to do the three-hour test, which is far worse, including fasting, more nasty drink, and four blood draws... I'll have more holes than ever.

30 weeks

2009-02-12T21:21:00.004-05:00

30 weeks today! I like to think of it as the beginning of the downhill slope.

I had an OB appointment this week and Eli is measuring about a week and a half ahead. I asked the doctor if she could guess how big he might be and she said she couldn't, but she sure didn't think he'd be small. Mom says all her kids were big, and Josh was a 9-pounder. And apparently Noah was over 7 pounds even a month early. I think I'm in for a big Little Dude.

Here's a 30-week picture.

29w3d

2009-02-08T21:16:00.006-05:00

After being pretty sick for more than a week, I'm finally feeling human again. After I posted last, my infection became bronchitis and I was having a lot of trouble breathing without my inhaler. Regular doctors seem afraid to do anything to treat a pregnant woman, so I finally called my OB. Right away she said I needed help breathing and prescribed me some steroids for my lungs. Thank goodness! I started feeling better about a day and a half later, and now although I'm still coughing and congested, it feels great compared to the breathing problems. That was really scary!

After working one day all week, I'm so behind at the office. I wanted to go in this weekend to try to catch up, but I just didn't have the energy. So tonight is my last evening of my couch weekend, and tomorrow it's back to the piles of work waiting for me. So I'm trying to enjoy my lounging.

Speaking of lounging, let me tell you a story about my husband. My husband, usually a good and generous man, has now complained at me twice for wearing his t-shirts and "putting boob marks in them." Come ON! I can't believe he's even serious. It's not like they're special shirts or anything... just plain old lounging t-shirts. Mine don't fit me anymore, and my husband won't let me wear his. Am I being silly to find this annoying and selfish? Maybe it's hormones, but I don't get it.

One of my April-moms girls had her baby this weekend. Eight weeks early and still 4lb9oz! He seems to be doing well. It sure makes it seem real to know Little Dude could be here before too long! It's exciting and scary at the same time. I guess I should start reading some birthing books...

28w4d

2009-02-02T08:11:00.005-05:00

I felt Eli's hiccups for the first time a couple days ago! I've heard it's possible to feel them but so far I hadn't. Then one morning I was lying on my side and I started feeling a steady poking. At first I was thinking it was kind of weird that he was kicking me in such a perfect, quick rhythm, but then I realized it was hiccups! I was amazed. For the first couple minutes, I loved it. Then after a few more, I started feeling bad for the Little Dude. Then after a few more, I started feeling bad for ME. It went on for a long time and I had a hard time getting back to sleep. Still, it's pretty amazing. All the little signs of life are so special.

I'm sick as a dog. A certain stepchild of mine gave this to me. It started with a sore throat but it has progressed and now I am really, really miserable. Today is day 5 of sore throat, hacking cough, chesty phlegm, runny nose, and maybe most importantly, not sleeping. I'm so exhausted but I can't go to sleep or stay asleep. I'm finally going to the doctor this morning. I called at the stroke of 8am, but I still didn't get an appointment until 10:30. I've been up for five days, and two hours feels like forever. Pleeeease just give me some drugs!

27w6d

2009-01-28T21:55:00.004-05:00

Since it's been awhile, here's a 28-wk picture. I think I weigh as much as the snow plow running outside in the parking lot.

27w1d

2009-01-23T20:19:00.007-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether people really want to know the truth when they ask how I'm feeling.

I answer the question at least three times a day--sometimes more--and more often than not, it's a stranger asking. It seems to be a standard question to ask a pregnant woman. Most of the time, it's accompanied by a finger pointing at the belly.

I usually give a fairly standard answer... something not completely untrue, like "Oh, okay. Tired. Ready to be done." I could just say "great!" or even "pretty good" but I feel like a liar. I wonder how many of those people actually really care how I'm feeling or if it's just something to say. I think I know the answer. But one of these days, I might just unload the truth on one of these strangers and say something like, "Terrible, actually! I haven't slept well in weeks. I can't get comfortable in bed without a pillow between my legs, and even then I get up to pee every hour. And most of the time I can't fall asleep because I have reflux and restless legs. My crotch is aching and walking really hurts. Peeing so much means a lot of handwashing, which means my skin is chapped. That hurts in the cold. I can barely manage to put my own socks on, and shoes with laces? Forget it! And there are still so many weeks of torture left..."

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy and grateful to be pregnant. But there are 90 days left and I am cooked... that's the other question strangers ask me numerous times a day... "how much longer?" " Also accompanied by the pointing finger.

on finding a sitter

2009-01-13T19:06:00.007-05:00

Anyone have any advice on how to find a safe sitter?

Any of my SAHM or college-type friends need a little work?

I really want to do only freelance work at home, but I think I'm going to need to work a couple days a week. Usually Josh can be home two days a week, but if I decided to work a third day, I would need a sitter one day each week. I have strong [and negative] feelings about daycare, but I might be willing to concede on a sitter in our home once a week.

I really would love if I could find someone I know who is interested. I thought I'd post it here and see if any friends want to express any interest. I'd also like to hear from anyone who knows someone trustworthy who might be interested, and I will gladly accept any advice on the matter.