all things new

The other day my husband apologized to me for dragging the past into our marriage.

So I've been thinking about what I drag into it.

The Past always seems to want to have its big old graspy fingers in everything. Is it even possible to check it at the door? I guess it comes down to how much power you let it have over you... or perhaps how much power you think you have by not letting go. The old control-freak argument... I am very familiar with the old control-freak argument. I'm a recovering control freak myself. Okay, so nothing really qualifies me to be in the "recovering" category.

Right after The Past a la Josh was crucified, The Past a la Shannon reared one of its heads (it has a few, and this head wasn't really that ugly... but still, it was reared) with a particular past blast. I wonder if God created irony or if irony had more of a big-bang-theory type of beginning?

Anyway, the hubs reminded me that our little imperfect family unit is new. Not new as in "let's-hold-hands-and-kiss-in-public-because-we're-newlyweds" new. New as in "Behold, I have made all things new" new (aka Revelation 21:5).

The Past can't beat that.

1 month old

Eli is 1 month old today! I can hardly believe it's been that long.

He is doing much better with the sleeping these days. Still not perfect and he definitely has days and nights mixed up. But after changing a bunch of factors, he is doing better. He is sleeping much better on his side in a sleep positioner on an inclined mattress. Much to my diaper-factory-managing husband's dismay, Little Dude is a big-time pee-er and he is peeing straight through all the zillion diapers we've stocked up on. So tonight we're trying out Pampers at night and Josh's diapers during the day. We'll see how that goes tomorrow.

He is starting to be a lot more alert. He wakes up now and then and will look around and almost engage with us. We have a little eye contact sometimes, although very brief, so I think we are on our way to hitting some milestones! I'm excited. He smiles in his sleep a lot. It's so cute!

Everything is going well. I just cannot wait until he gains enough weight to start sleeping in longer stretches. I'm pretty worn out. Mom and Laurie have been here to help out this week, though, and it has made such a huge difference. I am so grateful! And a bit afraid of going back to not having any help...

In other news, today is not only 1 month for Eli. It is also our first anniversary! Josh is working this weekend but we had a nice afternoon together while Mom and Laurie took care of Eli at home. It has been a great year with a very special guy. I'm so proud he is mine!