surgery

What a crazy week it's been so far. Saturday night I was in the ER finding out I need gallbladder surgery. Monday we were at Children's getting an ultrasound for Eli and found out he needed surgery, too.

I had a feeling it would go that direction, but I was surprised they wanted to do it immediately. They sent us right from the Close to Home center directly to Children's and admitted us. I was hoping they'd do it that night, but they decided he needed to be on fluids overnight and they'd do the surgery in the morning. Well, that was okay, except poor Eli had been fasting for his ultrasound, so he hadn't eaten since 10am. He was already two feedings late at that point and he was so hungry and sad. They said he couldn't eat all night! I couldn't believe it. I was in tears with him. Watching him cry hungry was the worst. I just couldn't believe they let him go 30 hours without food... by the time the surgery was over and 3 more hours had passed.

hungry baby

I thought I was mentally prepared for the surgery, but it turned out I was a wreck. When they came to the room to take us down to surgery, I started crying and then by the time we got down there, I had calmed down. But then when they brought in the little face mask to put him to sleep with to show me it smelled like cherry, I started crying again. Then when they finally took him away from me, I was so upset. The nurse put him on her shoulder and walked away down a long hall, so I could see him looking back at me over her shoulder and crying. It was so sad. I wanted so much for it to be over, but I was so afraid to send him back there. I was thinking all kinds of irrational thoughts about never seeing him again. The wait in the waiting room was torture but luckily it was only just over an hour before the doctor came to tell us he was doing fine.

sleeping so peacefully after surgery

He slept most of the afternoon and then fussed most of the evening. I felt so bad for him because he was so tired, mostly drug-induced, I think, and then he was only allowed to have a little tiny amount of formula to eat and he was SO hungry. He slept well overnight though and by morning he seemed like a different baby! He was content with the 3oz we had worked up to and wanted to play and coo and smile. We left the hospital by 10am, stopped to eat, and came home and we all three took naps.

getting ready to go home

I had to wake him last night to feed him every three hours, so I'm hoping maybe there's a chance we'll start sleeping a little longer soon! It was all really difficult, but I'm so glad it's over and I can't wait for my little dude to start feeling normal and not having so many belly issues.

Eli's first sickness

We survived Eli's first bug!

We did a penpal program at work with a local 4th grade class, and Thursday we had a lunch at the school to meet the kids. I had to take Eli, and he started to be sick the next day so I'm pretty sure that's where he picked it up.

He started Friday afternoon with the runs, and throughout the night he was having at least two bouts of diarrhea with every feeding, and some here and there in between. By Saturday morning he had a fever of 100.9 and was acting even more fussy than normal. I gave him some tylenol and a bath and his fever came down, but he still had bad poops and then started with the puking.

Why do we always get sick on the weekend? I called the pedi's answering service because I was worried about dehydration. The doctor told me to give him pedialyte and watch his fever. By about 1am he was screaming for food, so we gave him a little at a time and by about 4am he ate 4oz, so we all went to bed. He woke up fine this morning, although he has been extra fussy all day.

Poor kid! So small to already have a sore butt from diarrhea! I felt so bad for him. Now we wait to see if the rest of the house catches his plague. I'm so glad Josh was home. We are looking forward to a more normal (well, we hope) night of sleep tonight!

Eli's appointment today

I took Eli to the doctor this morning. I was really impressed that the doctor spent so much time sitting down and talking with me about things without ever making me feel dumb or incapable. Doctors always intimidate me, but he seems like such a good guy!

Eli is up to 10lb6oz now, so regardless of all the spitting up and misery, he's still gaining like a pro. So there's the sunny side.

The doctor and I came to the agreement that the formula has pretty much nothing to do with things, so we've switched back to the regular old gentle formula. He's having us add rice cereal as a thickener to try to keep the milk from sloshing so much and hopefully that will keep it in his belly. So far today it's been going down (and staying down) just fine. Whew!

Next problem: the screaming. He said according to the upper GI we had on Monday, Eli's top valve isn't working right, thus the reflux, but also, the lower valve isn't working quite right either, so his stomach isn't emptying as fast as it should be. He said I've got bum luck because the top valve problem means Eli is fussy while he eats, and the bottom valve means he is fussy after he eats, and then he's colicky the rest of the time since his poor belly is all crampy and full of crap. :)

Regarding the colic, the doctor asked if I have anyone to help out because he wants me to leave the house for 2 hours every day for awhile. He said babies feed so much on our emotions, and my stress from his constant screaming is causing him stress. I am not surprised to learn that he's picking up on my anxieties, but it sure isn't a good feeling. The doctor said it's common with screamers and he sees it a lot where a mom will bring a baby in screaming but then when handed to the doctor, the kid stops crying. He said we need to try to break the routine we're in where he cries all evening by finding someone to help me out when Josh isn't home so that I can be out of the house and we can try to "reset" things for Eli. He also made a point to say that while he does care about me and my mental health, he is telling me to make this happen for Eli's sake, not mine. He said I can sit on the porch and cry for two hours if I want to, but I need to be out of the house.

So that leads me to my last point. Since I don't have any family here to help out, I'm really at a loss for who to ask for help. I'm jealous of people who have their moms nearby! Anyone out there willing to come and sit with little Eli for two hours (5-7) some evening, maybe once a week for the next couple weeks? Next week will be Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday. The week after that will be Monday, Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday. Pay is hugs. Plus, he'll probably be an angel for you. He only screams for me!

formula and family

Eli's gastro issues have been driving me nuts! Him too, I'm sure. If he's not sleeping or eating, he's crying. I have a hard time just accepting that he has colic and is going to be like this for two more months, but I'm afraid we're heading that direction. He's been a screamer since 2 weeks, and the screaming is much worse in the evenings. He has reflux and gas issues and we just can't seem to make them better.

He had an upper GI yesterday morning. He had to fast for 4 hours before the test, and I was certain he would be screaming, but he did fairly well for being hungry. He wore a cute little hospital gown (albeit pink) and they X-rayed him while he drank some barium. I guess he was starving, because he sucked the nasty stuff right down! The test showed he legitimately has reflux but nothing else is wrong with his insides, so that was good news. The doctor switched Eli's formula to some apparently powdered gold that costs $26 a can. A small can. Ugh! So far it does seem to help a little with the reflux but he's still having butt trouble. So he's still screamy and I'm still frustrated and we're paying out the wazoo for it.

(crappy picture taken with my crappy phone camera. I can't believe I forgot my camera!)

We had Eli's dedication at church this past Sunday, so the family came in for it, which was nice. There were about 20 babies being dedicated at the same time, so Josh was spared the anxiety of being in the spotlight and I was able to take off my shoes on stage without anyone really noticing. And wonder of all wonders, the kid slept right through it! I was sure he would be the baby who cried, but he made his mama proud. Probably because he knew it was Mother's Day.