Sunday, March 22, 2009

day 1 with and without my baby

This is harder than I thought. I felt like I mostly had it together when we left yesterday, but I'm pretty emotional now. Last night Josh said something and I started crying and couldn't stop. I don't really even know why.

Aside from the obvious, there are a couple things I already miss about the hospital:
A nurse to keep nagging me to take my medicine.  I forgot to take anything before I went to bed last night and I woke up in the middle of the night in a lot of pain. I'm still trying to catch up with it.
A bed that moves up and down.  I can't get out of bed without Josh's help because I can't sit up on my own. I laid in bed for a few minutes last night trying to decide what to do when I had to pee and couldn't get myself up. I didn't want to wake him, but I really didn't have a choice. It's hard needing help to do the basic things.
Help bars... everywhere.  Those handicap-help bars are all over the place in a hospital. Now I have to use my own resources to get on and off the toilet, in and out of the shower, and so on. I didn't realize how much I appreciated those until now. 

There are things I do not miss, though, like a blood-thinner shot every morning, someone checking my vitals every hour, and not getting to sleep beside Josh. I really missed that. 

Can someone get me some ice chips? Oh. Crap. 


5 comments:

Erin said...

Aw, I'm sorry you're at home missing Little Dude. My brother and his girlfriend went through the same thing when my nephew was in NICU and still trying to figure out how to eat. Take advantage of the opportunity to rest and recoup and heal a little. I hope you guys get to bring him home soon!

Jill said...

I'd get you ice chips if I was there!

Rebecca said...

I had a hard time remembering the meds, too. Aaron made me a simple chart and kept it on the kitchen counter as a reminder for all the meds. I was in there often, so would remember to take them by seeing it. It might help. And I know what you mean about getting up and around. :( I hope you start feeling better soon. Just don't push it--the meds can sometimes make you feel more healed than you really are.

Kimmie said...

Oh, Shannon, I PROMISE you'll feel better soon. You'll actually probably be surprised at how quickly you forget about yourself once the little guy is there with you. My first night home from the hospital was the worst night of my life--I had a touch of the baby blues--but I got through it, and I know you will too! Hang in there--and kiss that baby for me!!! :)

Peppermint Patty said...

Keep an eye on your emotions...it's normal to feel emotional (ups/down), crying, etc. Just don't let it get out of hand. Those baby blues are very real.

If you need anything, please let me know! I can tell you about the time I cried in the car the entire way home from the mall after Matthew was held by the Easter Bunny (1 month old). :)